By Morris Workman
For years, the debate has raged across the country:
Should the federal government be involved in providing birth control?
The sub-arguments are varied and heated.
There have been discussions in the U.S. about providing condoms to
school children, an idea which would actually be pretty funny.
If you've been around a fifth-grader lately, then you know that any
shipment of prophylactics to the classroom will quickly be
transformed into a miniature zoo filled with balloon animals.
Sex education continues to be fodder for the funniest jokes, puns,
and double entendres among middle schoolers, that is until they score
their first bootleg DVD of Lewis Black.
Abortion continues to be one of the most contentious issues dividing
On one side, the young pro-choice advocates insist that a woman
should be allowed the right to choose what they can do with their own bodies.
And to show how responsible they can be with such decisions, those
male and female advocates go right out and get tattoos, tramp stamps,
body brandings, tongue piercings, tongue splittings, nipple rings,
Marilyn Monroe studs in their face, nose rings, cheek piercings,
gauged ear lobes, and jewelry piercings in the most intimate of
locations to prove their point.
On the other side, the pro-life crowd continues to insist that all
life is precious, and they're willing to continue killing abortion
clinic doctors until America gets the message.
Then you have "the pill" and pregnancy-preventing injections, and the
ongoing battle over whether the federal government should be allowed
to provide these forms of birth control for free to those who can't
otherwise afford them.
Finally, the United States government has reached a momentous
decision on free birth control.
A recent announcement confirms that Uncle Sam is now providing free
anti-pregnancy injections to a group that consistently has no money
and no way of paying for such contraceptives.
In a decidedly un-politically correct stance; the gub'ment is making
no attempt to hide the fact that they are doing it because they are
tired of caring for the offspring of reckless females with no
self-control, who have sex with a variety of partners without taking
any precautions, and who frequently continue to birth more and more
young 'uns in spite of the fact that they can't provide enough food
for all of them.
And the feds are stepping up with their new birth control program
right here in the Silver State, claiming the problem is rampant in Nevada.
It's a controversial idea, but to their credit, the feds are making
the injections available to anyone regardless of color, creed, breed,
In fact, the only requirements are that the recipient must be
homeless, and must be a horse.
That's right, a horse.
Our office received a press release from the Bureau of Land
Management last week announcing another roundup of wild horses to be
held around the Elko area.
As part of the roundup, according to the BLM's e-mail, the female
horses will be injected with Porcine Zona Pellucida, or PZP-22, a
fertility control vaccine.
It's like Depo Provera for horsies.
It's the BLM's answer to the never-ending roundups they're forced to
conduct every year because recreational procreation seems to be the
only habit these equine high plains drifters seem to have mastered.
While it's a decidedly progressive move to provide free contraceptive
inoculations, the program is still fraught with antiquated
male-dominated thinking, as another part of the project includes a
plan to thin the horse herds to a mix of 60% males and 40% females.
It's almost as if they're blaming the females for the pregnancy and
overpopulation problems, while continuing to heap testosterone-laced
accolades on the males with favorable labels like "stud."
I'm not sure how I feel about the federal government providing free
Or the idea that they're willing to do something for animals that
they won't do for humans.
But I'm glad to see that the disco era, the days of "free love," and
federally-assisted sex without consequences have finally reached the